But its not Fair !!! Am I alone ?

Does anyone else adore their Ferals to the point of wanting to squeeze them till their eyes pop out and at other times want to lock them in their room and throw away the key and turn to chocolate and wine for comfort?  I do.

Sibling rivalry .. in my house of mud it may as well be a four letter word.  I know all kids fight with each other and I think it would be abnormal for them not too .. but my Ferals are the grand champions of sibling argument!

Born just under 2 1/2 years apart it seems it has always been this way form the moment the Weed could talk and move.  Competition and the old ..'its not fair' are regularly heard being screamed from one end of our mud home to the other.  I truly do love my Ferals the same but oh boy do they know how to test it.

I have in many ways raised the Ferals alone.  Hub works away a lot so most has been left to me and I can honestly admit that it has been a struggle.  A struggle that many mornings I do not want to climb out of my nice warm bed and tackle again and again.  Its a feeling that I do not like within myself.

Am I alone in this feeling?  Are other parents struggling with the same issues?  I assume they are but its not something many discuss as we all want our children to be the picture perfect kids. 

My two Ferals have a massive size difference.  As said before, my Curly Feral is sooo tall and has shoulders the width of mine.  His huge feet propel him through the water at great speeds and at 10 he is physically mature for his age.  The Weed on the other hand is slight in build, fast and can give as good as he gets but it only takes one swipe from the paw of the Curly Feral to send him flying into something that always seem to result in pain. To decide who is at most fault is hard as they both scream blue murder and I usually end up taking a deep breath and letting them sort it out.  As I have said many times to them ... 'If you are going to kill each other can you please at least do it quietly'.

The Weed and the Curly Feral ...
happy in the fields of Tasmania

I do know they love each other.  I will often find them curled up together at bed time and the Curly Feral had been known to become very protective over the Weed,  but still this is forgotten in a fit of frustrated "its not fair' anger for both of them !

Am I the only one?  Does this happen within most families and does the perfectly behaved front that we all see from so many people hide any secrets of not really being able to cope?  I do wonder...

It is true that I want the Ferals to grow up to be strong independent men.  To have the strength to handle what life will send their way but I do worry.  I worry because life will not get any easier for them.  It will be there to test them to beyond their possible capabilities.  But I do so hope they succeed.

 The long  cold winter days did not help and I longed for the frogs to start croaking and the ground to slightly dry so they could once again go outside and run their energy to exhaustion ... thank goodness the warm weather is finally here.

At this moment all is quiet but any moment from now they will be screaming for lunch.  It would be easier to be a bird and regurgitate old leftovers than to continually be the domestic goddess that I endeavour to be then cook up some exotic toasty !!!.. ha

Don't get me wrong though .. there are SO many  positive aspects of my Ferals.  The love they have for my parents and the way they smile and surprise me with little things when I least expect it .. but it is not always like that and I don't believe in sugar coating anything.

I love my kids and am so lucky they are mine .. but please please tell me I am  not alone in this world of sibling rivalry? Am I ? .........  Now where's that Vino...?


    Cheers  Dilly xx


PS:  Quiet lasted about 5 mins !!

Im back..... finally!!!

Its been a while since I last blogged.  Again life has jumped in the way.  School holidays, working, keeping up domestic goddess duties..these all eat into every precious day turning my time into a haze of never ending rush.  Sometimes I still want to jump off this ever increasing in speed life but I know I must hang on as today is tomorrows history and we start all over again.

I have been watching my Ferals a lot of late.  My goodness how time with them has flown.  My Curly Feral is 10.  I'm sure I was only cuddling a new bundle in my arms yesterday and wondering what on earth I was supposed to do with him !!  But here he is.. a tall solid chap with curly hair and size 10 men's feet. I do have to remind myself on a regular basis that yes he is only 10 and not the 13 the possibly looks. 
He is slowly developing an understanding of what life will throw at him in the years to come but then again none of us are ever prepared for what the next day may bring. 

The Weed,  well what can I say.  He has turned 8 and a new phase of attitude has appeared.  He is a comic in the making.  a performer and dancer that I am sure will entertain many in years to come.  His legs are becoming so long and his floppy hair that covers his big brown eyes gives him the look of innocence and knowing. But  I know there is more going on behind that cheeky smile with the crocked teeth than meets the eye.

My birthday has come and gone.  Another year under the belt.  Another year that I can not remember most of.  But here I am having turned 43 and I'm healthy... that has got to account for something I figure.  I did a few months ago have surgery on my right elbow which I dislocated many moons ago as a teenager whilst roller-skating.  It had big bone chunks floating around causing me much pain.  I'm so relieved for them to be gone but now I have been told I have stage 4 arthritis in it.  Oh the joys of ageing ! I may moan but I will survive !  Every one deserves a bit of pathetic me time at some stage !

Now we face the roller coaster of Christmas once again.  Wasn't it just yesterday we were singing Ho Ho Ho ? It sure feels like it.
My Curly Feral has worked out the Santa thing along with the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny.  Part of me is sad that this has happened as that part of his childhood innocence and believing in the magical world of Santa has gone, but he has handled it with great maturity... and with the threat of missing out completely if he tells his brother.  This so far has worked great !!

I really intend to try and get back to my writing more.. I really will try.  Was life this busy when I was a kid for my parents?  I don't know but this is something I will have to ask them.  The rollercoaster just keeps going up and down on this thing we call life... and I know I will continue to hold on to create more memories for someone to remember me by one day.

Cheers Dilly xx