This week I have had to do some soul searching. I have had to seriously contemplate swallowing my pride and what I truly truly believe in to make a decision regarding my children's future education. It has, and will continue to be a very hard time I am sure until it has been finalised in my own mind at least.
We all want the best for our kids and I am no exception when it comes to the Ferals. I never expected my kids to be a genius but neither of them are lacking in the intelligence area..(although I do sometimes wonder... Hmmm !! )
I, as all others I assume, want to see our Off Spring go onto greater things than most of us have probably done our selves. Maybe even live a dream we once had through them. It's so hard to know what is the right thing to do sometimes especially when our hearts are saying something completely different to our heads !
I am trying not to base the choice I make on what their friends are doing even though it will play a small part in my decision. But I truly want the decision I make to benefit my Ferals emotional state and their educational needs. Trying to work between the 2 is proving hard.
I regularly just wish it would all go away and we could continue with the education they have in a perfect environment for the rest of their schooling years. I feel we as a community have been so blessed with what we have been exposed too. The decisions that have been made regarding this matter I will NEVER understand.
It has come to the point that I feel like we are being pushed into something that we really do not want to do. It feels like our true options are being pulled out from underneath us and we are being poked with a rather long stick to do what the big wigs want. I don't like this feeling.
I still have a bit of time to mull it all over in my head. To way up the pros and cons and to make peace with my own beliefs for the benefits of my Ferals.
Its hard being a parent and it harder still giving up a belief no matter how right one thinks they are.
So if you see me wandering around with a furrowed brow, try and understand that my head and heart are in a tussle with deciding what is right to give my Ferals all they deserve for their wonderful lives to come.
Cheers Dilly xx
Please note these are my feelings and opinions. You may agree or disagree, but please do not take this out of context. Thanks Dilly x
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Blooming beautiful
Spring.. the sounds of birds chirping a familiar call.
The smell of freshly cut grass that suddenly grew overnight into a jungle.
The days of perfect blue to be followed by a sudden cold snap bringing snow and rain once again to this little state. Spring.
I love Spring.
My garden is finally starting to awaken from its winter slumber. All the hard work I put in is starting to show. Ok, I have to admit I am proud of myself, but its something I am passionate about.
I get my gardening gene from my parents who inherited it from theirs. I grew up in a lovely garden full of places to explore and hide. This is what I wanted to give my Ferals. A place of peace and space. I think I have succeeded with this.
 |
| Does anyone know what this is??? |
I love going plant hunting. I used to work in a plant nursery and to me this was heaven. I met like minded customers whilst in this job and some are still great dear friends. A garden can bring people together. It can bond those with the same passion.
Going plant hunting as said before is one of my favourite things to do. One of my best friends shares this love and we regularly swap cuttings and roots of some strange plant that appears. To find something unusual is always fun and to see it bloom brings a sense of delight.
My mum was a propagator for years. There is not much she can not grow. I love to stroll through gardens with her as she pops a tiny piece of something beautiful into her bag to take home and grow. It is a special time for mum and I. To share and interest with a parent is a wonderful experience.
Many have said to me that I must be a slave to my garden. Nope not at all. Yes it is hard work, yes it takes time and there are times I crash exhausted into bed after a day in the garden..but hey .. what a satisfied feeling I get even with all the aches and pains after a long day.
I love all seasons of my garden. Spring brings with it the pure beauty of a loved garden but all other seasons still show their own delights. Summer is probably the hardest. The hot dry summers of Tasmania can be cruel. I let my lawns shrivel in the heat, but we are lucky enough to have a dam next to us which we can pump water from. I try to save my garden from the rigour of the heat.
I hope I will still be getting dirt under my nails for many years to come. To feel the freshly dug earth and to smell the goodness it is filled with brings a sense of being one with nature. To see the work I have put in flower into fruition is one of my greatest joys. |
| I love my wisteria.. This is the best year since I planted it |
Maybe I sound like a silly old woman .. silly yes.. old.. lets not go there, but this is something I love. I do hope the Ferals will follow in my footsteps and that of their grandparents. What a great gene to pass down....
 |
| Plenty of room for Ferals and friends |
Cheers Dilly xx
Saturday, 27 October 2012
It happened to me too..Bullying
I have often pondered what a person is feeling when they decide to bully another. It is one of those questions that most have an answer for. Is it as they say due to the fact they themselves are insecure, have a bad home life, or actually enjoy the power over another? Probably all these and more.
Do we want, if the circumstances arise, for our children to be the bully or the bullied? I know neither would be preferable but life does not work like that. I realise in an ideal world we would all get along like a big happy family and never a cross word would be spoken, but that I'm afraid is the stuff of fairy tails.
My Ferals have I must admit been subject to both. I know it is a learning process for children as no one wants to be different and singled out but the reality is it does happen. Both Ferals have been a bit over zealous with their opinions of others and both have been on the receiving end of the taunts. I do acknowledge they are not perfect but I must also say that this year at school has been a positive year in terms of acceptance of others. I must congratulate their teachers for this.
My oldest Feral with the Curly hair is a very tall solid child. He towers over his class mates and to compensate slouches to shorten himself,. I know exactly how he feels as I was known for doing the same thing. Its not easy being different. I am endeavouring to teach him what a gift his height is and will be in later life. He is one of the lucky ones.
As a child I was bullied and taunted within the school grounds to the extent I was scared of going to school. To be tall with gangly legs, braces on my teeth, bad hair and a large snoz, I can admit was the perfect recipe for taunting.
Primary school was not too bad. We were an age then when peer pressure was not overbearing and smaller younger kids tend to be more accepting of differences, but high school was a nightmare. To be different is not seen as a good thing.
Do we want, if the circumstances arise, for our children to be the bully or the bullied? I know neither would be preferable but life does not work like that. I realise in an ideal world we would all get along like a big happy family and never a cross word would be spoken, but that I'm afraid is the stuff of fairy tails.
My Ferals have I must admit been subject to both. I know it is a learning process for children as no one wants to be different and singled out but the reality is it does happen. Both Ferals have been a bit over zealous with their opinions of others and both have been on the receiving end of the taunts. I do acknowledge they are not perfect but I must also say that this year at school has been a positive year in terms of acceptance of others. I must congratulate their teachers for this.
My oldest Feral with the Curly hair is a very tall solid child. He towers over his class mates and to compensate slouches to shorten himself,. I know exactly how he feels as I was known for doing the same thing. Its not easy being different. I am endeavouring to teach him what a gift his height is and will be in later life. He is one of the lucky ones.
As a child I was bullied and taunted within the school grounds to the extent I was scared of going to school. To be tall with gangly legs, braces on my teeth, bad hair and a large snoz, I can admit was the perfect recipe for taunting.
Primary school was not too bad. We were an age then when peer pressure was not overbearing and smaller younger kids tend to be more accepting of differences, but high school was a nightmare. To be different is not seen as a good thing.
 |
| Me aged 16.. |
I remember a friend saying to me once that she wanted to her kids to be average looking.. nothing out of the ordinary. I thought she must be joking, but as she then explained to be average would keep them out of harms way. I think she made alot of sense.
One can be bullied for being too good looking or not attractive enough. Who makes these decisions usually falls to the most dominating, at least in the victims eyes, person. I look back now and realise these people were the ones with the problem..not me.
Does bullying continue once we are older? Most definitely. Now it is done in a more secretive manner, a more cunning way. Yes it most definitely still occurs. I have experienced it many times through my adult life and to be honest I just take it. I have never been one to fight back, thus lack the self esteem to retaliate. The words of my high school years still echo in my head. Silly thing is if I saw some of the people responsible now I would probably still cringe and scurry off. Time does not heel all wounds.
There are rules in place at schools to try and combat this behaviour. Any school that does not think they have a problem I personally believe have their heads in the sand. There is no point in denying it or the problem will never be correctly addressed. Ignorance is no excuse.
With the introduction of social media, no matter how good we think it is, it can exacerbate the problem to a huge level. The thing is there are probably only a small majority who take the time to harass another via the comfort and safety of their computer room but these are the ones who spoil it for others.
Having experienced the full brunt of this cruelty and not wishing to see my kids distressed over
what someone has said or to be told they were the cause of tears for another I will continue to bang into the brains of the Ferals the quote "If you don't have anything nice to say..don't say anything at all ". I think that sums it up perfectly and hopefully we all will try to instill this into the minds of the future generations otherwise history will continue to repeat itself. Only time will tell.
Cheers Dilly xx
Saturday, 20 October 2012
Good morning... Maybe?
What is it about a school morning that turns me into a not so perfect mum?? Am I the only one who's perfection slips out the side window to only return once the Ferals have been dispatched to the school door? I hope not !!
Maybe its the way that they will sleep in and need to be dragged out of their beds with threats to move or else during the week, and on weekends get happily out of bed at 6am? Revenge will be priceless when they are older.. hahaha !!
Maybe its the way they procrastinate over everything. Having a shower for instance. The Weed hates to be clean. If he never had to clean his teeth or wash ever again he would be happy.
To get him into the shower generally takes 2 people with him screaming and clawing at what ever he can grab to make the whole process of just getting him to the shower an event to remember.
He has long arms and legs that tend to stretch to greater lengths when trying to manoeuvre him through the door. With threats of " Don't you dare wash my hair ! " and me promising of course not ... he is forcibly shoved under the water and when he is not looking I pounce with shampoo in hand and scrub as fast as I can as his screams echo around the shower cubical !! Silly thing is though, once he is in he enjoys it and does not want to get out !
Breakfast. It has become a despised word in this house. I have bought so many cereals I have lost count. I refuse to buy sugary cereals much to their disgust so they make this time again a spectacle. " Why cant we have what such and such has for breakfast? " Well the answer is that because you just cant !!!
There is nothing wrong with toast or a healthier cereal. No you cant have soup for breakfast or toasted ham and cheese !! Blimey do they think I am a master chef?? If they do, they are under some great illusion..
Clothing. Now a school has a uniform for a reason and partly to help us poor parents with the task of making mornings easier. Well I think they forgot about my Ferals when this was decided.
Firstly, what is is about school tops that never come clean? I have soaked and soaked to still find grime from yesterdays roll down the grassy hill or mud that has been wiped off hands onto it still ingrained into the fabric.. It just does not come out!! Cries of " I cant wear that its dirty ! " are often yelled throughout the house.. my answer is .. " Well if you didn't use your top as a dish rag maybe it would be clean !! This logic has yet to click !! Toughen up kiddos !!
The other problem in the clothing department is shoes.
Now the Weed still fits into cute little Velcro shoes. His dainty little hooves are not growing at an alarming speed but the Curly boys feet... OMG.. will they ever stop growing?? He has feet that guarantee him a solid hold on this earth as they are huge for a kid his age. He is now passing shoes he has grown out of to his Grandfather and Grandma !!
The problem began about 2 years ago. No longer could he squeeze like Cinderella's sisters into a dainty little Velcro shoe but has had to revert to the grown up bloke shoes with laces that drive him.. and I .. nuts !! He is also at the stage where he wants to look "Cool" . I though it was girls that were supposed to have clothing dilemmas.. but my Ferals I am sure could give any a run for their money !!!
I like to have lunches ( which I never put the right things into apparently ) made by a certain time. I watch the clock like some possessed woman counting the minutes till freedom. It is important to time everything to perfection so I can hustle them out with minutes to spare. I do not like being late.
To bus or not to bus .. that be the next question. Our bus stop is up the top of our road. It is in easy walking distance and on a lovely morning is a nice stroll, but the Ferals do not like taking the bus to school.
They are the last pick up the morning on their route and are at school within 7 minutes but they much prefer for me to take them, which means of course I have to get myself ready. No pulling the tracky daks over the nightdress and donning a cap on my head to hide my terrible bed hair..nooo.. I have to shower, dress and make myself reasonably glamorous for the trip to school as I am not getting out of the car and going to their classrooms in a state of disrepair !!! Thus this adds more to the monster mum morning !!
Anyway when I do finally shove them out the door with a hearty wave and kiss to the voice of the Weed saying "You can go now mum as you are cramping my style " I head off home to a house in total chaos which I then choose to ignore for at least the next hour while I sit back and contemplate my navel as my day begins... AHHHHH
But at the end of the day when the Ferals coming running down our drive way after walking from the bus stop, with the dog doing some happy dance around their feet, I must admit I am glad to see them. To have that me time during the day recharges the soul for the afternoon ahead of the mum taxi service as the afternoon activities begin.
Am I the only one who feels like this?? Hmmm
Maybe its the way that they will sleep in and need to be dragged out of their beds with threats to move or else during the week, and on weekends get happily out of bed at 6am? Revenge will be priceless when they are older.. hahaha !!
Maybe its the way they procrastinate over everything. Having a shower for instance. The Weed hates to be clean. If he never had to clean his teeth or wash ever again he would be happy.
To get him into the shower generally takes 2 people with him screaming and clawing at what ever he can grab to make the whole process of just getting him to the shower an event to remember.
He has long arms and legs that tend to stretch to greater lengths when trying to manoeuvre him through the door. With threats of " Don't you dare wash my hair ! " and me promising of course not ... he is forcibly shoved under the water and when he is not looking I pounce with shampoo in hand and scrub as fast as I can as his screams echo around the shower cubical !! Silly thing is though, once he is in he enjoys it and does not want to get out !
Breakfast. It has become a despised word in this house. I have bought so many cereals I have lost count. I refuse to buy sugary cereals much to their disgust so they make this time again a spectacle. " Why cant we have what such and such has for breakfast? " Well the answer is that because you just cant !!!
There is nothing wrong with toast or a healthier cereal. No you cant have soup for breakfast or toasted ham and cheese !! Blimey do they think I am a master chef?? If they do, they are under some great illusion..
Clothing. Now a school has a uniform for a reason and partly to help us poor parents with the task of making mornings easier. Well I think they forgot about my Ferals when this was decided.
Firstly, what is is about school tops that never come clean? I have soaked and soaked to still find grime from yesterdays roll down the grassy hill or mud that has been wiped off hands onto it still ingrained into the fabric.. It just does not come out!! Cries of " I cant wear that its dirty ! " are often yelled throughout the house.. my answer is .. " Well if you didn't use your top as a dish rag maybe it would be clean !! This logic has yet to click !! Toughen up kiddos !!
The other problem in the clothing department is shoes.
Now the Weed still fits into cute little Velcro shoes. His dainty little hooves are not growing at an alarming speed but the Curly boys feet... OMG.. will they ever stop growing?? He has feet that guarantee him a solid hold on this earth as they are huge for a kid his age. He is now passing shoes he has grown out of to his Grandfather and Grandma !!
The problem began about 2 years ago. No longer could he squeeze like Cinderella's sisters into a dainty little Velcro shoe but has had to revert to the grown up bloke shoes with laces that drive him.. and I .. nuts !! He is also at the stage where he wants to look "Cool" . I though it was girls that were supposed to have clothing dilemmas.. but my Ferals I am sure could give any a run for their money !!!
I like to have lunches ( which I never put the right things into apparently ) made by a certain time. I watch the clock like some possessed woman counting the minutes till freedom. It is important to time everything to perfection so I can hustle them out with minutes to spare. I do not like being late.
To bus or not to bus .. that be the next question. Our bus stop is up the top of our road. It is in easy walking distance and on a lovely morning is a nice stroll, but the Ferals do not like taking the bus to school.
They are the last pick up the morning on their route and are at school within 7 minutes but they much prefer for me to take them, which means of course I have to get myself ready. No pulling the tracky daks over the nightdress and donning a cap on my head to hide my terrible bed hair..nooo.. I have to shower, dress and make myself reasonably glamorous for the trip to school as I am not getting out of the car and going to their classrooms in a state of disrepair !!! Thus this adds more to the monster mum morning !!
Anyway when I do finally shove them out the door with a hearty wave and kiss to the voice of the Weed saying "You can go now mum as you are cramping my style " I head off home to a house in total chaos which I then choose to ignore for at least the next hour while I sit back and contemplate my navel as my day begins... AHHHHH
But at the end of the day when the Ferals coming running down our drive way after walking from the bus stop, with the dog doing some happy dance around their feet, I must admit I am glad to see them. To have that me time during the day recharges the soul for the afternoon ahead of the mum taxi service as the afternoon activities begin.
Am I the only one who feels like this?? Hmmm
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Yep it has arrived .. Attitude
Ok... its like this, I have been through two times the:
and now into for the second time the : Savage 7's and I have to admit that yep we have hit it with a BANG !!
Now I do remember when oldest Feral was 7 he was hard work. He tends to be a bit of a drama queen, or king I should say , but Weedy Feral ... OMG... No wonder I drink !!!
He is one of those kids who thinks things out. He is a plotter, a manipulator and a comic. Put those 3 traits together and yep we have a very cluey kid. He knows how to bend the truth to save his own backside. He has ways of blaming his brother for his mistakes and sure knows how to holler when something does not go the way he planned it .. oh the joys of parenthood !!
His Curly Feral brother is very protective of him even though he will regularly get him in trouble for things he did not do. Its usually after that we parents find out who the true culprit was. Funny though .. Curly Feral will protect him if the Weed looks like getting into trouble.. He would it seems walk over hot coals for him.. but would the Weed do it for the Curly boy? I think not. Hmmm somehow he seems to have wiggled his cute little body into the heart of his brother... but that's what brothers do.
Attitude is to be expected I know. It is a normal part of growing up and something we all still have, but I assume we learn ( well most of us anyway ) to control. I do admit I have just sat back and laughed at him when he is throwing a huge wobbly over something to do with Lego. He has mastered the eye roll and the death stare perfectly. He is rather amusing to watch.
This phase too will pass I know and I will some day look back with amusement as I recall his antics but around the corner lurk the atrocious 8's and ooo I cant wait for that !! Surly puberty will be a breeze after all we have witnessed so far !!! Won't it? Lucky he is mine !!!
Cheers Dilly xx
Terrible 2's
Theatrical 3's
Ferocious 4's
Frightening 5's
Save me please 6's
and now into for the second time the : Savage 7's and I have to admit that yep we have hit it with a BANG !!
Now I do remember when oldest Feral was 7 he was hard work. He tends to be a bit of a drama queen, or king I should say , but Weedy Feral ... OMG... No wonder I drink !!!
He may be little and very cute but do not let that sweet exterior deceive you.. Lurking below those big brown eyes hides the devil in disguise and yes butter would melt in his mouth at a very rapid pace !! ATTITUDE has come and joined this family.
When Weedy Feral was born I remember the midwife saying to me that she was sure he had been here before and I do tend to agree. But I wonder if he was as feral in a former life? Probably !!
 |
| Weedy Feral dressed as a Tasmanian Devil A look that suits his personality !! |
Attitude is to be expected I know. It is a normal part of growing up and something we all still have, but I assume we learn ( well most of us anyway ) to control. I do admit I have just sat back and laughed at him when he is throwing a huge wobbly over something to do with Lego. He has mastered the eye roll and the death stare perfectly. He is rather amusing to watch.
This phase too will pass I know and I will some day look back with amusement as I recall his antics but around the corner lurk the atrocious 8's and ooo I cant wait for that !! Surly puberty will be a breeze after all we have witnessed so far !!! Won't it? Lucky he is mine !!!
Cheers Dilly xx
Saturday, 6 October 2012
A week amoungst many
This past week had been hard. It has been one of those weeks that I wish had never happened. Don't ask what it is as I will not say but it has been testing.
Life has a way of throwing things least expected at you that totally knock one for 6. A way of questioning can something positive really come out of it?? I have hunted deep within my self and I can say truly that yes it can.
Life was not meant to be easy they say.. It throws challenges that can make even the toughest person fall but this is what makes us human, makes us appreciate all that we experience. It is what makes us us..
I look around me and realise all that I have to be grateful for. To see the silver lining in the dark clouds and the rays of hope shine through. I know sometimes the rays of sun can be a little foggy but still they shine.
I know this week will pass and what has occurred will slowly disappear into never land. This day too will pass, but I know it will make me stronger and show a side to myself that I have not seen for a while. A side that proves I have strength and resilience to bounce back from what ever life has to hurl my way.
So life .. bring it on. I know I can handle anything now ( except if a chocolate shortage was declared..... NOOOOO ). The glass is half full and its bubbling a good champers calling my name..
Cheers Dilly xx
Life has a way of throwing things least expected at you that totally knock one for 6. A way of questioning can something positive really come out of it?? I have hunted deep within my self and I can say truly that yes it can.
Life was not meant to be easy they say.. It throws challenges that can make even the toughest person fall but this is what makes us human, makes us appreciate all that we experience. It is what makes us us..
I look around me and realise all that I have to be grateful for. To see the silver lining in the dark clouds and the rays of hope shine through. I know sometimes the rays of sun can be a little foggy but still they shine.
I know this week will pass and what has occurred will slowly disappear into never land. This day too will pass, but I know it will make me stronger and show a side to myself that I have not seen for a while. A side that proves I have strength and resilience to bounce back from what ever life has to hurl my way.
So life .. bring it on. I know I can handle anything now ( except if a chocolate shortage was declared..... NOOOOO ). The glass is half full and its bubbling a good champers calling my name..
Cheers Dilly xx
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