Do we want, if the circumstances arise, for our children to be the bully or the bullied? I know neither would be preferable but life does not work like that. I realise in an ideal world we would all get along like a big happy family and never a cross word would be spoken, but that I'm afraid is the stuff of fairy tails.
My Ferals have I must admit been subject to both. I know it is a learning process for children as no one wants to be different and singled out but the reality is it does happen. Both Ferals have been a bit over zealous with their opinions of others and both have been on the receiving end of the taunts. I do acknowledge they are not perfect but I must also say that this year at school has been a positive year in terms of acceptance of others. I must congratulate their teachers for this.
My oldest Feral with the Curly hair is a very tall solid child. He towers over his class mates and to compensate slouches to shorten himself,. I know exactly how he feels as I was known for doing the same thing. Its not easy being different. I am endeavouring to teach him what a gift his height is and will be in later life. He is one of the lucky ones.
As a child I was bullied and taunted within the school grounds to the extent I was scared of going to school. To be tall with gangly legs, braces on my teeth, bad hair and a large snoz, I can admit was the perfect recipe for taunting.
Primary school was not too bad. We were an age then when peer pressure was not overbearing and smaller younger kids tend to be more accepting of differences, but high school was a nightmare. To be different is not seen as a good thing.
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| Me aged 16.. |
I remember a friend saying to me once that she wanted to her kids to be average looking.. nothing out of the ordinary. I thought she must be joking, but as she then explained to be average would keep them out of harms way. I think she made alot of sense.
One can be bullied for being too good looking or not attractive enough. Who makes these decisions usually falls to the most dominating, at least in the victims eyes, person. I look back now and realise these people were the ones with the problem..not me.
Does bullying continue once we are older? Most definitely. Now it is done in a more secretive manner, a more cunning way. Yes it most definitely still occurs. I have experienced it many times through my adult life and to be honest I just take it. I have never been one to fight back, thus lack the self esteem to retaliate. The words of my high school years still echo in my head. Silly thing is if I saw some of the people responsible now I would probably still cringe and scurry off. Time does not heel all wounds.
There are rules in place at schools to try and combat this behaviour. Any school that does not think they have a problem I personally believe have their heads in the sand. There is no point in denying it or the problem will never be correctly addressed. Ignorance is no excuse.
With the introduction of social media, no matter how good we think it is, it can exacerbate the problem to a huge level. The thing is there are probably only a small majority who take the time to harass another via the comfort and safety of their computer room but these are the ones who spoil it for others.
Having experienced the full brunt of this cruelty and not wishing to see my kids distressed over
what someone has said or to be told they were the cause of tears for another I will continue to bang into the brains of the Ferals the quote "If you don't have anything nice to say..don't say anything at all ". I think that sums it up perfectly and hopefully we all will try to instill this into the minds of the future generations otherwise history will continue to repeat itself. Only time will tell.
Cheers Dilly xx
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