What is it about a school morning that turns me into a not so perfect mum?? Am I the only one who's perfection slips out the side window to only return once the Ferals have been dispatched to the school door? I hope not !!
Maybe its the way that they will sleep in and need to be dragged out of their beds with threats to move or else during the week, and on weekends get happily out of bed at 6am? Revenge will be priceless when they are older.. hahaha !!
Maybe its the way they procrastinate over everything. Having a shower for instance. The Weed hates to be clean. If he never had to clean his teeth or wash ever again he would be happy.
To get him into the shower generally takes 2 people with him screaming and clawing at what ever he can grab to make the whole process of just getting him to the shower an event to remember.
He has long arms and legs that tend to stretch to greater lengths when trying to manoeuvre him through the door. With threats of " Don't you dare wash my hair ! " and me promising of course not ... he is forcibly shoved under the water and when he is not looking I pounce with shampoo in hand and scrub as fast as I can as his screams echo around the shower cubical !! Silly thing is though, once he is in he enjoys it and does not want to get out !
Breakfast. It has become a despised word in this house. I have bought so many cereals I have lost count. I refuse to buy sugary cereals much to their disgust so they make this time again a spectacle. " Why cant we have what such and such has for breakfast? " Well the answer is that because you just cant !!!
There is nothing wrong with toast or a healthier cereal. No you cant have soup for breakfast or toasted ham and cheese !! Blimey do they think I am a master chef?? If they do, they are under some great illusion..
Clothing. Now a school has a uniform for a reason and partly to help us poor parents with the task of making mornings easier. Well I think they forgot about my Ferals when this was decided.
Firstly, what is is about school tops that never come clean? I have soaked and soaked to still find grime from yesterdays roll down the grassy hill or mud that has been wiped off hands onto it still ingrained into the fabric.. It just does not come out!! Cries of " I cant wear that its dirty ! " are often yelled throughout the house.. my answer is .. " Well if you didn't use your top as a dish rag maybe it would be clean !! This logic has yet to click !! Toughen up kiddos !!
The other problem in the clothing department is shoes.
Now the Weed still fits into cute little Velcro shoes. His dainty little hooves are not growing at an alarming speed but the Curly boys feet... OMG.. will they ever stop growing?? He has feet that guarantee him a solid hold on this earth as they are huge for a kid his age. He is now passing shoes he has grown out of to his Grandfather and Grandma !!
The problem began about 2 years ago. No longer could he squeeze like Cinderella's sisters into a dainty little Velcro shoe but has had to revert to the grown up bloke shoes with laces that drive him.. and I .. nuts !! He is also at the stage where he wants to look "Cool" . I though it was girls that were supposed to have clothing dilemmas.. but my Ferals I am sure could give any a run for their money !!!
I like to have lunches ( which I never put the right things into apparently ) made by a certain time. I watch the clock like some possessed woman counting the minutes till freedom. It is important to time everything to perfection so I can hustle them out with minutes to spare. I do not like being late.
To bus or not to bus .. that be the next question. Our bus stop is up the top of our road. It is in easy walking distance and on a lovely morning is a nice stroll, but the Ferals do not like taking the bus to school.
They are the last pick up the morning on their route and are at school within 7 minutes but they much prefer for me to take them, which means of course I have to get myself ready. No pulling the tracky daks over the nightdress and donning a cap on my head to hide my terrible bed hair..nooo.. I have to shower, dress and make myself reasonably glamorous for the trip to school as I am not getting out of the car and going to their classrooms in a state of disrepair !!! Thus this adds more to the monster mum morning !!
Anyway when I do finally shove them out the door with a hearty wave and kiss to the voice of the Weed saying "You can go now mum as you are cramping my style " I head off home to a house in total chaos which I then choose to ignore for at least the next hour while I sit back and contemplate my navel as my day begins... AHHHHH
But at the end of the day when the Ferals coming running down our drive way after walking from the bus stop, with the dog doing some happy dance around their feet, I must admit I am glad to see them. To have that me time during the day recharges the soul for the afternoon ahead of the mum taxi service as the afternoon activities begin.
Am I the only one who feels like this?? Hmmm
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