Shopping with the Ferals

Yesterday I went shopping with the ferals.  We were in a clothing store of my choice perusing the clothes.  Sounds simple enough until ...  out of the corner of my eye I saw some children tearing around the store, in and out of the clothing racks, crawling.  Oh what badly behaved kids I said to myself only then to realise ... OMG they are mine !!!!  I quickly gave them THE GLARE and they took off like startled mice.
 I followed pretending they were not my children.  You know the walk,  slowly, still continuing to look at the fine attire ( as being a woman I am able to do 2 things at once  ) while watching them dissapear into the change room area.  I poked my head around the corner only to find them .. yes the ferals,  standing next to a couple of mannequins posing.  Big smirks on their faces as the changed positions continually like some film clip.  I have to admit I did laugh as they actually were quite funny.  Even the ever patient shop assistant had a giggle. Two grubby ferals being boys.  Two busy boys doing what they do best:  making shopping a character building experience. 


When they come to the dreaded supermarket with me I can always guarantee I will leave with heaps more than I intended.  I know I did not put that packet of Tim Tams in the trolley and as for the latest release of dvd I know for sure that was not mine.    How do they get these things in with out me knowing?  I then have to say to the poor checkout person ..  "ummm sorry but I wont need these" .. as they again give me that look I have been witnessing the whole way around of .. you poor bugger.
Apparently shopping isles make great running lanes and if you take off your shoes and leave socks on they are even better for sliding.  Did you know too that the supermarkets do build race tracks around the fruit and veggie section just for that purpose?? I wish I didn't know that ..ugh


No one told me how difficult it is to shop with kids.  My curly haired boy when a baby was the easiest shopper.  I could wander for hours doing as I pleased as he lay so sweet and innocent in his pram ...  but he grew up and OMG ...how things change.


If I take them individually .. the Curly boy and the Weed.. well things are so so different.  Shopping is almost a pleasure.  We can have hot chocolates together and a muffin to fill our tummies.  We can try clothes on and wander the shops enjoying each others company.  As for the weed.. he does not run around like a lunatic pulling faces and wiggling his bottom at himself in the shop windows.  They do not wind each other up to the state of my despair and act like the worst creatures in the street.

I do point out at times when I have calmly ( well at least on the out side as I do usually have steam billowing out my ears ),  grabbed them as they swoop past for the umpteenth time that  " Can you see any other kids behaving like this?  Do you see any others tearing around the mall weaving in and out of the people and climbing over the chairs? "  The answer is no.  So we discuss the appropriate way, the socially acceptable way to behave, the behaviour that does not make me want to hide behind a tree the size of a tooth pick, and they assure me they will stop.

Well ... and I should have learnt my lesson by now... but alas .. silly me believes them !  Of course we want to .. its our job!  Of course it wasn't their fault that the rack of clothes came crashing down. Couldn't they see they were no where near it !!  ( not that close anyway I say to myself trying not to admit it to knowing they were responsible). Maybe if I had actually paid attention to the Weeds eyes, as he is very good at avoiding the important eye contact, I would have actually faced the reality of what was ahead.
Anyway with the promise they wont run around, wont climb the chairs and will walk like the perfect child I can see across the mall with a halo shining like a beacon above his head we set off.  But of course my ferals have Devil Horns.  They give that sly smile between themselves and take off at break neck speed again causing the crowd to part like the Red Sea.

I am sure there are shop assistants that see my 2 coming and run for cover.  " Look there are those 2 boys again... HIDE !! ".  I do spend alot of time apologising for them, trying to make light of it as I  put that smile on my face of "its all ok !"  There is alot one can get away with with a smile and a cheery disposition. 

I am waiting for the social conscience to kick in.  I have been assured it will.  When they start to notice the stares and the whispers are most likely about them.  I am waiting, waiting, waiting ever so patiently  ( with vino in hand ) for this to occur.  Waiting for them to feel embarrassed and not just me.  I know I should not care so much as in truth they are still only kids but society does not see it like that.  There are the unwritten rules that we must all abide by or face the wrath of the STARE from passers by!  And believe me the STARE is enough even to make the most hardened mum feel like jelly.

My kids are not perfect.  They are complete horrors at times.  They make me want to totally pretend they do not belong to me and run away BUT in the end they are kids being kids.  I tell them all the time not to grow up too fast and I think in reality that is what they are doing.

So if you see me down the street with a pinched smile on my face and 2 ferals running all over the place, please don't judge and remember I love them no matter what.  Remember too that they get to come home with me .. not you ( I can feel the relief from here !!!) so in hindsight it really does not matter because I am the lucky one !!!


                                Cheers Dilly xx