The big 4 ..0

I will never be that old .  NEVER.. I remember when my mum was THAT old.  She got a dog for her birthday and I was a lovely  teenager.  I will never reach that age because it just doesn't happen that fast.  I have years and years to even think about that !!  Then WHAM  reality check .. its closer than you think . 

40 .. its just a number right?  It means nothing right?  Of course it is ... its just a matter of mind.. a case of being young at heart , a milli second in life's journey to maturity.  Who am I trying to kid !!

When i was a child I could not wait for the next birthday.   I would be planning my party for the next year as the guests were rolling out the drive from my current one.  The anticipation would make me so excited.  What sort of cake would I have?  Which friends would I invite? Would we have a sleep over?  So many choices. 
 But one day that excitement starts to fade.  At what age did we start to not want another birthday, to stop the clock, to reverse time?  I think it was for me around the age of 27.  Why 27?  I have no idea but maybe it was the thought of "oh blimey I think I am meant to know what I am doing with my life by now." I had travelled, (turned 26 on a Greek Island..ahhhh), had a few relationships that were .. lets just say.. character building and had lived away for quite a few years. Life had been good, a time of self discovery, a time of "how many parties can I fit into one weekend? " But I think it was realising that I had to grow up that slowed the enthusiasm.

Turning 30 was a bit daunting but I had decided it was make or break for me .  These were the years that I was supposed to find myself, my niche in life, find my way out of the haze of my twenties.  I can honestly say that they were.  I felt a sense of  'this is good,  this is how I think it is meant to be' so I continued to sail through the 30s with gusto.

BUT ... then I turned 39.  I had never really thought about it much before, just like it never even crossed my mind moving into the new millennium ( silly I know ) but all of a sudden I was being asked  " what would you like for your 40th birthday?"  My WHAT !! my 40th birthday ? , the day I never thought would really come, the day when I am supposed to say "Life begins at 40". 
Holy cow .. its really going to happen .!.

Would I have a big party?  No not my scene.  Would I have a family celebration ? yes I think so.
Would I like to drown my sorrows in a never ending supply of vino?? Oh yes please, but I had to think maturely now, to remember that I was about to hit.. ugh .. middle age !

 So I turned 40 on a lovely winters day.  I had felt the night before  "Am I ready for this?" Well I had no choice.  The day dawned and guess what??  I had not shrivelled up over night, extra grey hairs had not decided to ruin my day by surprising me with a white frosting on my head, and it was going to be ok.

A great lovely friend said to me once before the big day that "when you turn 40 everything starts to ache". Yes I must say he was right. Or maybe I just started to notice it more.  But I have decided 2 can play this game. I will fight it all the way..anyway that's why they invented hair dye !!

So I remember a lovely childhood friend of mine who did not make it to 40.  She will be forever 39.  I remind myself that I am so lucky to have made it here with no real health issues and a family who love me.
I think of her every year just before my birthday and thank her for watching me grow older.
The 40s are a liberating and exciting time.  It is a time when I can say "I have had 2 kids , I can wear a bikini and I don't care what anyone thinks". 

I am now past that age by a bit.  My sister is about to embark on the journey of the 40s and I wish her all the luck. It will be a great time for her too.

So I say " Bring on 45, 46 and 47" and I will consider the big 5..0  when the time comes, and I know it will.  I have already proved that !

My 40th cake made by my dear friend Sim x

                  
                                           Cheers Dilly xx